{davewrites}

Note: This is an efficient amalgamation of several bad dates from my 20s, some of which were fix-ups. I really did end a date this way (Urban Well, circa 1999). Although in real life it happened as I was paying the bill. Her reaction was not much different than what I describe here. She was the first and last blonde I ever dated. 

Yes, the scene is a little cliché. We are summing up my 20-something love life after all.

I think I’m most proud of the title: “F*xed up!”

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FADE IN:

TITLE CARD: The one constant in all your failed relationships is you.

 

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ITALIAN RESTAURANT – EVENING

DAVE (27) shares a table for two with ALISON (30), a conservative blonde with her hair tied back. Both peruse their menus.

Dave snaps his menu shut and places it on the table. A tall, gangly WAITER (25) appears at his side.

WAITER: Are we ready to order?

Dave gestures to Alison. She looks up, shakes her head and dives back into the menu.

DAVE: (to the Waiter) Give us a few more. Thanks.

The Waiter nods and leaves.

DAVE: So…

Alison stops reading but doesn’t look up.

DAVE: You work with Monica?

ALISON: Yes.

DAVE: In sales?

ALISON: No.

Dave catches himself twiddling his thumbs. He clears his throat and unfolds his hands.

DAVE: So is it Alison with one “L” or two?

ALISON: Just one.

DAVE: Just like the song.

ALISON: Which song?

DAVE: Um… “Alison?”

ALISON: Yes?

DAVE: Huh?

Alison tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and chews her lip. Dave massages his temples.

DAVE: Do you live Downtown?

ALISON: No.

Dave scans their surroundings. The restaurant is full of couples. Everyone else appears to be enjoying themselves.

DAVE: It’s a nice place, isn’t it?

ALISON: Downtown?

DAVE: No, sorry. I meant this restaurant.

Alison shrugs her shoulders and closes her menu. She avoids looking directly at Dave.

DAVE: They just opened a new restaurant across the street from my apartment. (grinning) It’s a Greek restaurant called Mediocreties. It’s okay, nothing special.

Dave waits for a response. Alison picks some lint off her sleeve.

DAVE: (still grinning) It’s just… okay. (deadpan) It’s called Mediocreties.

Dave stares at Alison. She notices and makes brief eye contact with him.

ALISON: I’m not a fan of Greek food.

The Waiter re-appears at Dave’s side. Dave gestures to Alison again. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

ALISON: Yes?

DAVE: So… should we just cut it off here and call it a night?

ALISON: Thank you.

Alison retrieves her purse, stands and leaves the table in one fluid motion.

WAITER: Wow and ouch.

Alison exits the dining area as Dave hands his menu to the Waiter.

DAVE: Penne with chorizo and a glass of Stella.

WAITER: Cheers!

The Waiter collects Alison’s menu, pushes her chair in and crosses to the bar.

Dave reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cell phone. He dials a number then holds the handset up to his ear.

DAVE: Monica! It’s Dave. Um… seriously? This shit has got to stop. It isn’t funny anymore. It’s eroding my self-esteem and I actually feel sorry for some of these girls. I can’t even imagine how you talk them into showing up. Anyways… call me tomorrow, okay? I need you to remind me that I need to get even. Thanks. Bye!

Dave hangs up his phone and places it on the table. He takes a sip from his water glass and stares off into space.

FADE TO BLACK.  

 

© 2011 davewrites.ca